it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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