Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
