if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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