i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
