I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you inspire me to be a worse person
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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