My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
