I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize