Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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