OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
