I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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