Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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