I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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