I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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