She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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