i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
