i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
