All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
