The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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