he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
