she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The struggles of a small town man whore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
