My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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