it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
