In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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