I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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