Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
