we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
