the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
