idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
