Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
