I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
