is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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