I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
