How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
