Are we in a gay sports bar?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
