I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
