Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
