so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it's like heaven, but drunker
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
