I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
