I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sext me about skeletons
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
