Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
