sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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