He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
