the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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