Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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