stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
