My Higher Power is John Stamos
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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