I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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