My Higher Power is John Stamos
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize