hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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