she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
