You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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