I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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