she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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