I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
