: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize