Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
