that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
