The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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