I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
