is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
