We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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