Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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