Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Non-Jews are for practice
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
