are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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