I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
