haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize