Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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