dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize