Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize