ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
