Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i now understand why vodka
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
