Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
