My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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