Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I party with great urgency now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
