I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
