using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
