"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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