so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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